Somewhere, muddled in the mess of your life and the blurriness of your tears is a remnant of the tenacity you formerly bore.
Shuffling beyond the chaos, emotional upheaval and transient disorientation is a token of tangible proof that you were once a Badass who didn’t take anyone’s excrement.
What happened? Where did you lose it? You know. Retrospection of that moment caves your chest and your spirit grieves it’s little death. It was insidious, very subtle. Your bravery was chipped away, bit-by-bit with Insult’s ice pick; convoyed by the ignorance of ignoring your intuition.
Whatever your moment, you must dig your hands into the depth of your soul and claw out the courage to love yourself enough to discontinue serving something or someone that does not best serve you!
I’m not speaking on relationships in rough patches or tough seasons. I am casting to the ground abusive and destructive relationships that do not honor God nor edify His children. I firmly believe that God’s first concern is the sanctity of your soul, not your institution. Am I telling you to pack up and leave your spouse? Not all of you but if the shoe fits…hello, Cinderella!
I recently listened to a church elder share a horrific story that he dubbed a successful testimony. His mother endured physical and psychological abuse at the hands of his father until their old age. He recounted her being held over the kitchen sink with a knife to her throat. He remembered on several occasions the cold metal of a gun pressed upon her head and many, many extramarital affairs. Then, he had the audacity to brand his mother a ‘strong woman’ for staying in a life-threatening, abusive, marriage. He professed that she would not have a great testimony of resiliency –now in their elder years — if she had not trusted God and stuck it out with his dad.
I listened, mortified at this “testimony” and terrified for the men and women who may have been victims of abuse and accepted his story as an endorsement. I conjecture that his mother would have had a remarkable, more fulfilling life in a loving relationship with someone who would honor, cherish and adore her.
I am so thankful to God for speaking firm and concise when He told me to leave. For revealing all things that needed to be seen. For proving that He honors my wholeness more than a covenant that I did not break. Abuse victims are often made to feel guilty for initiating a divorce AND simultaneously held responsible for repairing the marriage. Instead, the offending partner should be held accountable for the obliteration of the covenant.
Darling, your wholeness is more important. Look yourself in the mirror. Could you respect yourself if you stayed? If not, then your partner/enemy can’t either.
Snip, Snip. Dig out the courage. It’s there.
It’s wrapped around your beautiful soul, your fascinating future and your promising, abundant life.
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